no, he came in my armpit
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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