So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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