I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
