is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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