Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
