I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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