we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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