i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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