i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
