I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
