Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize