I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
