honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
