pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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