So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
