Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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