It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
