I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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