at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
