Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my sisters under your porch take her home
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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