Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
