mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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