i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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