Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
