Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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