ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
