How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
