i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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