Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize