I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
