Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
