I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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