i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
