I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize