Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
