Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
