You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
