i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
