she was so not down for the gang bang
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
