dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
