I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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