The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
