i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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