come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
