That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
