we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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