my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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