I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
