Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just had sex on a roof
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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