dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
