She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
