he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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