So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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