True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
