Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
