Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
