omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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